








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 570 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2349 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,887 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 538 | 29% |
| Smokes | 372 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 425 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 552 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $556,351 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 309 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Auzzie | 51% | 41 |
| #2 | Meomo | 50% | 36 |
| #3 | mAHhOYmAyOIM | 47% | 137 |
| #4 | ガニチ | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | Max | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Meomo | 50% | 36 |
| #3 | mAHhOYmAyOIM | 47% | 137 |
| #4 | ガニチ | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | Max | 44% | 16 |
| #6 | Okan AK | 16% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mAHhOYmAyOIM | 48 | 0.0187 |
| #2 | ガニチ | 12 | 0.0256 |
| #3 | Auzzie | 9 | 0.0118 |
| #4 | Meomo | 7 | 0.0105 |
| #5 | Okan AK | 6 | 0.0173 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mAHhOYmAyOIM | 294 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Meomo | 70 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Auzzie | 43 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | ガニチ | 19 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Max | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | microplastic estrogen burger | +7.08 | 89 | 42 |
| #2 | Max | -1.71 | 26 | 32 |
| #3 | mAHhOYmAyOIM | -2.50 | 75 | 41 |
| #4 | Auzzie | -2.53 | 48 | 43 |
| #5 | ガニチ | -2.89 | 63 | 27 |





