








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 407 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 87 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1317 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,361 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1240 | 37% |
| Smokes | 938 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 522 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 661 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $317,976 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luzran | 65% | 43 |
| #2 | Samwise Gamgee | 64% | 47 |
| #3 | Japp | 62% | 52 |
| #4 | Fredrik Snortare | 57% | 46 |
| #5 | ja vill ha SCHNASK | 52% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luzran | 65% | 43 |
| #2 | Samwise Gamgee | 64% | 47 |
| #3 | Japp | 62% | 52 |
| #4 | Fredrik Snortare | 57% | 46 |
| #5 | ja vill ha SCHNASK | 52% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japp | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Fredrik Snortare | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japp | 237 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | Samwise Gamgee | 100 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Fredrik Snortare | 63 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Luzran | 32 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | ja vill ha SCHNASK | 24 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luzran | +4.30 | 74 | 48 |
| #2 | STAGNE | +2.04 | 84 | 66 |
| #3 | Samwise Gamgee | +1.47 | 68 | 71 |
| #4 | Fredrik Snortare | -0.19 | 55 | 57 |
| #5 | Japp | -0.67 | 63 | 82 |





