








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 166 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 74 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 825 | 29% |
| Smokes | 697 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 721 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 582 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $228,334 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luzran | 73% | 41 |
| #2 | STAGNE | 64% | 47 |
| #3 | Japp | 63% | 51 |
| #4 | Fredrik Snortare | 59% | 41 |
| #5 | ja vill ha SCHNASK | 52% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luzran | 73% | 41 |
| #2 | STAGNE | 64% | 47 |
| #3 | Japp | 63% | 51 |
| #4 | Fredrik Snortare | 59% | 41 |
| #5 | ja vill ha SCHNASK | 52% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japp | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | STAGNE | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Fredrik Snortare | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japp | 232 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | STAGNE | 195 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | Fredrik Snortare | 51 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | ja vill ha SCHNASK | 23 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Luzran | 21 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luzran | +4.46 | 77 | 51 |
| #2 | STAGNE | +1.90 | 84 | 66 |
| #3 | Samwise Gamgee | +1.45 | 69 | 71 |
| #4 | Fredrik Snortare | +0.54 | 64 | 63 |
| #5 | Japp | -1.22 | 60 | 85 |





