








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1152 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 32 | 1% |
| Smokes | 2114 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1408 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1522 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $556,027 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quack | 41% | 29 |
| #2 | Shenlong Unleashed | 39% | 223 |
| #3 | Jassy!Tree! | 33% | 182 |
| #4 | Rugby League Live 3 | 31% | 155 |
| #5 | F? Semi-gayidity | 30% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jassy!Tree! | 33% | 182 |
| #4 | Rugby League Live 3 | 31% | 155 |
| #5 | F? Semi-gayidity | 30% | 128 |
| #6 | Mr!Drifter! | 29% | 21 |
| #7 | Malf | 27% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jassy!Tree! | 18 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Shenlong Unleashed | 17 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | F? Semi-gayidity | 14 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Quack | 10 | 0.0159 |
| #5 | Rugby League Live 3 | 7 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shenlong Unleashed | 397 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | Jassy!Tree! | 248 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | F? Semi-gayidity | 239 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Rugby League Live 3 | 187 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Malf | 63 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quack | +5.24 | 54 | 33 |
| #2 | Shenlong Unleashed | +4.55 | 73 | 44 |
| #3 | F? Semi-gayidity | +4.32 | 72 | 52 |
| #4 | Mr!Drifter! | -1.04 | 42 | 43 |
| #5 | Rugby League Live 3 | -1.51 | 34 | 34 |





