








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 354 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1733 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2536 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3188 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3391 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,169,804 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Quorra420 | 45% | 29 |
| #8 | ph420✓ | 45% | 119 |
| #9 | Niloc | 44% | 54 |
| #10 | cree | 43% | 28 |
| #11 | Synapse | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juan Doge | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Quorra420 | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | ph420✓ | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | jumpstop✔ | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | cree | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ph420✓ | 345 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | Juan Doge | 263 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | jumpstop✔ | 238 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Niloc | 173 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | Quorra420 | 159 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juan Doge | +4.36 | 92 | 67 |
| #2 | cree | +1.99 | 92 | 70 |
| #3 | EyS | +1.87 | 80 | 65 |
| #4 | Quorra420 | +1.49 | 63 | 49 |
| #5 | jumpstop✔ | +1.00 | 73 | 60 |





