








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,937 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3700 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4615 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3005 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2617 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $797,362 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McFresh | 47% | 103 |
| #2 | ph420✓ | 46% | 268 |
| #3 | Niloc | 45% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McFresh | 47% | 103 |
| #2 | ph420✓ | 46% | 268 |
| #3 | Niloc | 45% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ph420✓ | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | McFresh | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Niloc | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ph420✓ | 717 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | Niloc | 233 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | McFresh | 114 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jumpstop✔ | +1.11 | 69 | 63 |
| #2 | McFresh | +0.67 | 54 | 56 |
| #3 | Niloc | +0.02 | 48 | 69 |
| #4 | ph420✓ | -1.40 | 44 | 62 |





