








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 460 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4635 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,579 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2809 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4145 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4766 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3859 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,739,789 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 425 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'dny | 63% | 38 |
| #2 | Lzkas | 57% | 61 |
| #3 | ✪ LexX | 56% | 63 |
| #4 | Monst3rmichi | 50% | 98 |
| #5 | Paizuri | 46% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Monst3rmichi | 50% | 98 |
| #5 | Paizuri | 46% | 69 |
| #6 | twitch.tv/neonorangeyt | 44% | 99 |
| #7 | \-| Frixx |-/ | 43% | 61 |
| #8 | godtete | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lzkas | 8 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Monst3rmichi | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | ✪ LexX | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | twitch.tv/neonorangeyt | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | \-| Frixx |-/ | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paizuri | 201 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Monst3rmichi | 171 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | ✪ LexX | 171 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | twitch.tv/neonorangeyt | 107 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | 'dny | 101 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'dny | +2.74 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | ✪ LexX | +1.49 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | Lzkas | +1.32 | 85 | 51 |
| #4 | T I G 3 R | -0.08 | 76 | 57 |
| #5 | Monst3rmichi | -0.23 | 71 | 57 |





