








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 919 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 494 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 141 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5978 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3751 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4285 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5725 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5970 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,141,011 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 742 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'dny | 52% | 221 |
| #2 | Haku | 52% | 111 |
| #3 | 0800backpapier | 52% | 56 |
| #4 | xFaJa | 50% | 50 |
| #5 | T I G 3 R | 50% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Paizuri | 50% | 329 |
| #8 | godtete | 49% | 154 |
| #9 | ✪ LexX | 49% | 369 |
| #10 | Noname | 49% | 136 |
| #11 | ⭕⃤ Flasche | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lzkas | 24 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | ✪ LexX | 13 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | 'dny | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | T I G 3 R | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | ⭕⃤ Flasche | 7 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paizuri | 1209 | 0.17 | 31 min |
| #2 | ✪ LexX | 903 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #3 | 'dny | 587 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #4 | godtete | 580 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #5 | Lzkas | 395 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'dny | +2.15 | 76 | 72 |
| #2 | Lzkas | +1.26 | 82 | 55 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ Flasche | +0.40 | 67 | 52 |
| #4 | Monst3rmichi | +0.05 | 73 | 57 |
| #5 | ✪ LexX | +0.03 | 70 | 65 |





