








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,013 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 731 | 24% |
| Smokes | 818 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 750 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 714 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $236,825 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeeden | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | asf32fasfdasd | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | zzzzzzzzz | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | ake | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | wilper | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeeden | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | asf32fasfdasd | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | zzzzzzzzz | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | ake | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | wilper | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ake | 3 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | wilper | 1 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ake | 77 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | zzzzzzzzz | 37 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | jeeden | 23 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | asf32fasfdasd | 20 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | wilper | 20 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ake | +1.94 | 87 | 72 |
| #2 | jeeden | +1.69 | 69 | 63 |
| #3 | OlliPlays♥™ | +1.64 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | asf32fasfdasd | +1.24 | 90 | 61 |
| #5 | zzzzzzzzz | +0.25 | 71 | 71 |





