








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,887 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 495 | 26% |
| Smokes | 570 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 418 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 404 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $200,536 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GuhtiJESUS | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | jeeden | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | w | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | ✪Bonzo✪ | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | asf32fasfdasd | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | OlliPlays♥™ | 50% | 16 |
| #7 | kazub | 33% | 3 |
| #8 | Snowman | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | aso | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | Asku | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w | 6 | 0.0203 |
| #2 | jeeden | 1 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w | 57 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #2 | OlliPlays♥™ | 56 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | jeeden | 40 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | asf32fasfdasd | 20 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | kazub | 18 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zzzzzzzzz | +2.26 | 80 | 66 |
| #2 | asf32fasfdasd | +1.24 | 90 | 61 |
| #3 | GuhtiJESUS | +0.73 | 72 | 60 |
| #4 | jeeden | +0.35 | 78 | 56 |
| #5 | OlliPlays♥™ | +0.18 | 64 | 66 |





