








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 390 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4912 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4154 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4324 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4834 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3105 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,505,013 of utility $250 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 493 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crat0rez | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | Hudder | 61% | 170 |
| #3 | Cardi | 61% | 74 |
| #4 | jon4s | 59% | 98 |
| #5 | thest123 | 57% | 235 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thest123 | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Shaggy | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #3 | Hudder | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | LippeHL | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | jon4s | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thest123 | 842 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #2 | Shaggy | 599 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | krass ² | 312 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | caPitaLn | 303 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | bendix | 276 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hudder | +3.67 | 81 | 55 |
| #2 | jon4s | +2.16 | 72 | 62 |
| #3 | Teasy | +1.31 | 70 | 68 |
| #4 | Shaggy | +0.65 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | Crat0rez | +0.56 | 61 | 69 |





