








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 602 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 217 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2663 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3145 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1646 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2103 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,479,319 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | bendix | 56% | 36 |
| #11 | jon4s | 53% | 64 |
| #12 | krass ² | 53% | 57 |
| #13 | svNNN | 52% | 23 |
| #14 | pk | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teasy | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | Shaggy | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | LippeHL | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | jon4s | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | krass ² | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teasy | 681 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | Shaggy | 416 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | krass ² | 152 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | caPitaLn | 146 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | bendix | 141 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hudder | +4.13 | 79 | 57 |
| #2 | jon4s | +2.19 | 71 | 63 |
| #3 | Teasy | +1.37 | 70 | 66 |
| #4 | Cardi | +0.85 | 73 | 59 |
| #5 | Shaggy | +0.77 | 74 | 65 |





