








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,931 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 602 | 31% |
| Smokes | 485 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 503 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 341 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $365,316 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | mencius | 56% | 32 |
| #6 | Ronaldinho Soccer | 54% | 13 |
| #7 | Mongo | 48% | 23 |
| #8 | 14dang | 46% | 13 |
| #9 | rey mcscriff | 44% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rey mcscriff | 171 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | gronk | 107 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | mencius | 96 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | tamerlaneい河正の 꿈 | 49 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ronaldinho Soccer | 15 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tamerlaneい河正の 꿈 | +3.18 | 70 | 63 |
| #2 | rey mcscriff | +2.46 | 64 | 57 |
| #3 | Louis | +1.86 | 82 | 51 |
| #4 | gronk | +1.70 | 79 | 52 |
| #5 | mencius | +1.52 | 72 | 55 |





