








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1139 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,381 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 605 | 25% |
| Smokes | 469 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 713 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 594 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $274,003 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gazy | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | wildpiggie | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | HeXerGon | 49% | 95 |
| #4 | danny | 49% | 91 |
| #5 | Daddelapparat2 | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | wildpiggie | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | HeXerGon | 49% | 95 |
| #4 | danny | 49% | 91 |
| #5 | Daddelapparat2 | 38% | 26 |
| #6 | bum | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danny | 11 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | wildpiggie | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | HeXerGon | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Daddelapparat2 | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | gazy | 1 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeXerGon | 88 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | danny | 86 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Daddelapparat2 | 52 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | gazy | 41 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | wildpiggie | 21 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | day 2 no zaza | +2.06 | 80 | 55 |
| #2 | danny | +0.54 | 80 | 50 |
| #3 | gazy | -0.19 | 52 | 71 |
| #4 | wildpiggie | -0.30 | 84 | 38 |
| #5 | Daddelapparat2 | -2.01 | 52 | 49 |





