








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Esplay | 10 matches | 2,206 | |
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
931 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 616 | 20% |
| Smokes | 841 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 784 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 907 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $265,170 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Summa | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | [VLG] Et Ulltæppe | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | willi | 78% | 9 |
| #4 | Seqret | 77% | 13 |
| #5 | tako | 68% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Sagooi | 56% | 27 |
| #9 | dazhai | 50% | 8 |
| #10 | fLickza | 50% | 10 |
| #11 | Nettar | 50% | 14 |
| #12 | Avarita | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OGGI-_- | 9 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | Avarita | 5 | 0.0148 |
| #3 | SIMBAD | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | tako | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Sagooi | 3 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tako | 148 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #2 | Seqret | 114 | 0.34 | 3 min |
| #3 | OGGI-_- | 101 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sagooi | 95 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | SIMBAD | 90 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Summa | +5.18 | 90 | 59 |
| #2 | OGGI-_- | +2.28 | 83 | 62 |
| #3 | dazhai | +2.23 | 74 | 64 |
| #4 | fLickza | +2.14 | 81 | 66 |
| #5 | tako | +1.20 | 87 | 60 |





