








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,174 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1769 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1244 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1257 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 904 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $283,937 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ Lörtti Lyytikäinen | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | SORNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | teme | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Raimoust | 2 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | Heinaee | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ Lörtti Lyytikäinen | 288 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | Moksu | 164 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | jerppae | 123 | 0.36 | 3 min |
| #4 | tauno | 109 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | SORNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII | 78 | 0.12 | 2 min |





