








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 28 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 793 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 123 | 16% |
| Smokes | 219 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 219 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 232 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $44,637 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | messedup | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | ALZY | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | HANNUKANERVA | 62% | 26 |
| #4 | pirttis | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | Nappe | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | HANNUKANERVA | 62% | 26 |
| #4 | pirttis | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | Nappe | 52% | 21 |
| #6 | villEwOw-___- | 52% | 23 |
| #7 | SneaKs | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | messedup | 1 | 0.0213 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HANNUKANERVA | 97 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | Nappe | 71 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | pirttis | 55 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | villEwOw-___- | 41 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | ALZY | 27 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nappe | +4.34 | 88 | 68 |
| #2 | messedup | +3.47 | 91 | 37 |
| #3 | villEwOw-___- | +2.72 | 81 | 61 |
| #4 | SneaKs | +0.40 | 74 | 60 |
| #5 | YKS_PARHAISTA | +0.14 | 62 | 45 |





