








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 516 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 198 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
2392 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1438 | 25% |
| Smokes | 978 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1970 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1370 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $912,406 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 816 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H-Ä-K-K-I-N-E-N | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | ALZY | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | HANNUKANERVA | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | pirttis | 53% | 51 |
| #5 | YKS_PARHAISTA | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | HANNUKANERVA | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | pirttis | 53% | 51 |
| #5 | YKS_PARHAISTA | 52% | 23 |
| #6 | Saana :3 | 50% | 18 |
| #7 | Nappe | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pirttis | 190 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | H-Ä-K-K-I-N-E-N | 161 | 0.34 | 5 min |
| #3 | HANNUKANERVA | 125 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Nappe | 113 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | YKS_PARHAISTA | 40 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nappe | +4.03 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | villEwOw-___- | +2.10 | 76 | 63 |
| #3 | YKS_PARHAISTA | -0.38 | 60 | 44 |
| #4 | HANNUKANERVA | -1.15 | 66 | 69 |
| #5 | ALZY | -2.28 | 54 | 62 |





