








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 410 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Esplay | 8 matches | 1,991 | |
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,424 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2721 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2111 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1879 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2713 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,065,273 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 505 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wKodaz | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | Andresio | 67% | 36 |
| #3 | eRk | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | Haraldo | 60% | 40 |
| #5 | Lursha | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Lursha | 59% | 22 |
| #6 | kamilla | 58% | 53 |
| #7 | Gr0und3r | 57% | 28 |
| #8 | I killed yoiuy | 57% | 98 |
| #9 | JustUrge | 52% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I killed yoiuy | 19 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | JustUrge | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | kamilla | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Haraldo | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Andresio | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kamilla | 124 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Haraldo | 120 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | eRk | 119 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | Lursha | 116 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | Gr0und3r | 77 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🧿EJS | +2.47 | 81 | 53 |
| #2 | eRk | +2.21 | 87 | 70 |
| #3 | Lursha | +2.19 | 88 | 60 |
| #4 | JustUrge | +1.63 | 78 | 42 |
| #5 | Haraldo | +1.57 | 81 | 64 |





