








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 280 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Esplay | 35 matches | 1,921 | |
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1416 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,262 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1396 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1474 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1267 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1125 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $419,289 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 389 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M4THI45 | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Andresio | 68% | 40 |
| #3 | freddy | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | [420] | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | Sniperknight | 65% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kamilla | 146 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | RUSH | 117 | 0.37 | 3 min |
| #3 | 🧿EJS | 113 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Andresio | 69 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Calceus | 66 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M4THI45 | +3.67 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | [420] | +3.49 | 71 | 77 |
| #3 | Gr0und3r | +2.04 | 61 | 65 |
| #4 | 🧿EJS | +1.84 | 79 | 67 |
| #5 | INFERNODODGE | +1.82 | 61 | 60 |





