








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1235 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 127 | 13% |
| Smokes | 250 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 220 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 393 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $576,432 of utility $239 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wKodaz | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | 🧿EJS | 57% | 98 |
| #3 | JustUrge | 48% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wKodaz | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | 🧿EJS | 57% | 98 |
| #3 | JustUrge | 48% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🧿EJS | 31 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | JustUrge | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | wKodaz | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🧿EJS | 246 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | JustUrge | 35 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #3 | wKodaz | 20 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🧿EJS | +3.70 | 78 | 54 |
| #2 | JustUrge | +1.75 | 77 | 48 |
| #3 | wKodaz | +1.13 | 87 | 62 |
| #4 | I killed yoiuy | -0.69 | 69 | 25 |





