










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
248 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 201 | 32% |
| Smokes | 199 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 82 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 149 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $30,463 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MistR | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Cabbi | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | Zyphon | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | LukasDK8 | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | Patti10:j | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Cabbi | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | Zyphon | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | LukasDK8 | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | Patti10:j | 50% | 4 |
| #6 | HUNDEN | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyphon | 24 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | LukasDK8 | 20 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | HUNDEN | 19 | 0.33 | 0 min |
| #4 | MistR | 18 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | Cabbi | 13 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyphon | +4.03 | 95 | 59 |
| #2 | Lucky | +2.44 | 95 | 42 |
| #3 | LukasDK8 | +2.13 | 96 | 72 |
| #4 | Cabbi | +1.33 | 93 | 46 |
| #5 | MistR | +1.32 | 95 | 64 |





