








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 883 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 371 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,763 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4621 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4514 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2272 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3356 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,789,381 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Happy Birthday CS | 60% | 113 |
| #2 | NAZX | 59% | 51 |
| #3 | W rizzzzz | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | B o B | 53% | 150 |
| #5 | ā
l Fall3n lā
| 51% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Luminonffy | 51% | 163 |
| #7 | 30ishMeister | 45% | 179 |
| #8 | š®šššššš | 44% | 64 |
| #9 | Teemo | 42% | 57 |
| #10 | -EDM | 41% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Happy Birthday CS | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | B o B | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Luminonffy | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | š®šššššš | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | NAZX | 5 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luminonffy | 533 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | Happy Birthday CS | 272 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | ā
l Fall3n lā
| 245 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | 30ishMeister | 219 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | š®šššššš | 198 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fries | +2.68 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | ā
l Fall3n lā
| +0.40 | 74 | 63 |
| #3 | NAZX | +0.32 | 81 | 52 |
| #4 | W rizzzzz | +0.24 | 81 | 67 |
| #5 | Happy Birthday CS | +0.23 | 64 | 54 |





