








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,494 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1164 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1521 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2240 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1569 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $372,250 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bb | 62% | 86 |
| #2 | roland | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | BUZUSTA 0_0 | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | Phoenix | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | HANK | 53% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VAC | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | BUZUSTA 0_0 | 4 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | bb | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | HANK | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | mummenator | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Janne långben | 362 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | bb | 230 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | HANK | 227 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | mummenator | 158 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | VAC | 95 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bb | +4.04 | 72 | 71 |
| #2 | ✪ Luraren | +2.18 | 77 | 53 |
| #3 | mummenator | +1.24 | 69 | 75 |
| #4 | Paggen | +0.57 | 77 | 57 |
| #5 | fason | +0.44 | 60 | 63 |





