








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1474 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,986 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1102 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1811 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1434 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1639 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $331,806 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paggen | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | BUZUSTA 0_0 | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | TTV Thirt33nwolf | 67% | 18 |
| #4 | mummenator | 63% | 41 |
| #5 | fason | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HANK | 8 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Janne långben | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Pajani | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | BUZUSTA 0_0 | 3 | 0.0123 |
| #5 | bb | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Janne långben | 333 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | HANK | 235 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | bb | 132 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪ Luraren | 100 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | mummenator | 91 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bb | +2.90 | 72 | 71 |
| #2 | ✪ Luraren | +2.81 | 76 | 56 |
| #3 | mummenator | +2.59 | 76 | 76 |
| #4 | Paggen | +1.14 | 67 | 53 |
| #5 | TTV Thirt33nwolf | +0.91 | 76 | 49 |





