








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2047 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1370 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1715 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1356 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $230,565 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Clev | 54% | 56 |
| #6 | Andreh Roxão | 53% | 119 |
| #7 | Agente da BATATOLÂNDIA | 50% | 58 |
| #8 | FrZ | 45% | 40 |
| #9 | Feligeist Bagunceiro | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | riqueandre | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Clev | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Andreh Roxão | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Agente da BATATOLÂNDIA | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | FrZ | 3 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andreh Roxão | 554 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | riqueandre | 304 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | FrZ | 164 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | Clev | 156 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jamjo | 84 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | riqueandre | +2.20 | 64 | 61 |
| #2 | FrZ | +0.60 | 65 | 69 |
| #3 | hTr' | +0.44 | 57 | 65 |
| #4 | Ayrton | -0.16 | 43 | 73 |
| #5 | Andreh Roxão | -0.41 | 51 | 72 |





