








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2453 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2397 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2997 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2446 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2001 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $806,687 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Feligeist Bagunceiro | 48% | 58 |
| #6 | hTr' | 48% | 85 |
| #7 | Andreh Roxão | 48% | 160 |
| #8 | Jamjo | 46% | 165 |
| #9 | Agente da BATATOLÂNDIA | 45% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clev | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Jamjo | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | FrZ | 6 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | hTr' | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Agente da BATATOLÂNDIA | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andreh Roxão | 718 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | Ayrton | 349 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Clev | 329 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Jamjo | 190 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | FrZ | 168 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | riqueandre | +1.20 | 64 | 62 |
| #2 | FrZ | +1.13 | 65 | 71 |
| #3 | hTr' | +0.94 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | Ayrton | -0.11 | 43 | 73 |
| #5 | Andreh Roxão | -0.38 | 51 | 71 |





