








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 602 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 319 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4037 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2164 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2392 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4375 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 915 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $946,392 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 750 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Mickemoose | 59% | 54 |
| #6 | monsieur dinglesnooch | 56% | 25 |
| #7 | loenhard | 52% | 27 |
| #8 | maxb マックス | 51% | 323 |
| #9 | The Cock Gobbler | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maxb マックス | 1018 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #2 | Wallzor | 188 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | pooglezon | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mickemoose | 71 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | monsieur dinglesnooch | 71 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mickemoose | +3.05 | 43 | 68 |
| #2 | maxb マックス | +1.67 | 80 | 59 |
| #3 | Ben | +0.73 | 64 | 46 |
| #4 | pooglezon | +0.36 | 55 | 44 |
| #5 | Jar Jam | -0.22 | 65 | 54 |





