








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1730 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,366 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1247 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1018 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2051 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1050 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $709,983 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nick Deny | 48% | 56 |
| #2 | Ben | 45% | 33 |
| #3 | xxxconcussion | 38% | 26 |
| #4 | Cliffside Risk | 36% | 25 |
| #5 | maxb マックス | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ben | 45% | 33 |
| #3 | xxxconcussion | 38% | 26 |
| #4 | Cliffside Risk | 36% | 25 |
| #5 | maxb マックス | 29% | 17 |
| #6 | PAPA_ | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ben | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | PAPA_ | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | maxb マックス | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nick Deny | 104 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Cliffside Risk | 68 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | xxxconcussion | 57 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | maxb マックス | 36 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ben | 35 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ben | +2.06 | 73 | 36 |
| #2 | maxb マックス | +1.88 | 84 | 52 |
| #3 | PAPA_ | +0.19 | 72 | 59 |
| #4 | The Cock Gobbler | -0.39 | 54 | 58 |
| #5 | xxxconcussion | -1.18 | 54 | 60 |





