








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
516 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 940 | 28% |
| Smokes | 853 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1313 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 233 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $351,321 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | MiniFido | 29% | 7 |
| #15 | Cameldk | 29% | 21 |
| #16 | RoboStorken DK | 27% | 30 |
| #17 | _WHAT_dk | 25% | 12 |
| #18 | Kink | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RoboStorken DK | 104 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | nB aka FætterTræls.dk | 60 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Cadeym Aka cotomono | 34 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | Mr. Olsen | 29 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Burger | 29 | 0.10 | 1 min |





