








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
836 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,345 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1623 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2325 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2718 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2679 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,264,552 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RoboStorken DK | 14 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | nB aka FætterTræls.dk | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Timon | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | HaBBa | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | FIF | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RoboStorken DK | 575 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | nB aka FætterTræls.dk | 443 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | HaBBa | 120 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Burger | 90 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | FIF | 86 | 0.07 | 2 min |





