








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3884 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,231 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4677 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3846 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1684 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 3024 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $621,670 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1493 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UrBoyBangz | 64% | 33 |
| #2 | Snooze cow | 56% | 75 |
| #3 | razyy | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | H a v o c | 52% | 61 |
| #5 | bunbar | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Snooze cow | 56% | 75 |
| #3 | razyy | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | H a v o c | 52% | 61 |
| #5 | bunbar | 52% | 23 |
| #6 | Manny_gp | 50% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manny_gp | 16 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | H a v o c | 15 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | bunbar | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Snooze cow | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | UrBoyBangz | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manny_gp | 343 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | H a v o c | 289 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #3 | Snooze cow | 174 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | bunbar | 130 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #5 | UrBoyBangz | 68 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mannyGP | +2.07 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | bunbar | +1.89 | 71 | 75 |
| #3 | H a v o c | +1.88 | 81 | 69 |
| #4 | UrBoyBangz | +0.79 | 77 | 53 |
| #5 | Manny_gp | +0.35 | 59 | 55 |





