








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,580 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1997 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1452 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1471 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1660 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $927,685 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akX | 89% | 18 |
| #2 | qua - | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | mannyGP | 64% | 33 |
| #4 | Snooze cow | 62% | 21 |
| #5 | H a v o c | 61% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Sophie ♥♥♥ | 53% | 40 |
| #9 | Former God of CS | 53% | 120 |
| #10 | KINGCAVE | 48% | 73 |
| #11 | Glangford | 47% | 73 |
| #12 | Manny_gp | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glangford | 11 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | H a v o c | 11 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | Manny_gp | 7 | 0.0222 |
| #4 | mannyGP | 6 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | current | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glangford | 278 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | mannyGP | 208 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #3 | Former God of CS | 206 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | KINGCAVE | 181 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | H a v o c | 140 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akX | +6.12 | 91 | 22 |
| #2 | H a v o c | +2.70 | 84 | 73 |
| #3 | Manny_gp | +2.48 | 58 | 59 |
| #4 | mannyGP | +1.92 | 73 | 58 |
| #5 | Glangford | +1.15 | 80 | 62 |





