








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 650 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1984 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,620 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 916 | 25% |
| Smokes | 596 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1169 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 939 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $762,865 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 673 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoffmann | 60% | 80 |
| #2 | yumeZ | 60% | 126 |
| #3 | Itta | 59% | 54 |
| #4 | PLT | 52% | 48 |
| #5 | 乂卂丨 | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoffmann | 60% | 80 |
| #2 | yumeZ | 60% | 126 |
| #3 | Itta | 59% | 54 |
| #4 | PLT | 52% | 48 |
| #5 | 乂卂丨 | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yumeZ | 17 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Hoffmann | 15 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | PLT | 10 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | Itta | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | 乂卂丨 | 4 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yumeZ | 319 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | Hoffmann | 241 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | Itta | 196 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | PLT | 118 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | 乂卂丨 | 80 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yumeZ | +1.71 | 92 | 68 |
| #2 | KayZf- | +1.39 | 88 | 52 |
| #3 | Itta | +1.19 | 87 | 57 |
| #4 | Hoffmann | +0.98 | 86 | 70 |
| #5 | 乂卂丨 | -0.27 | 59 | 55 |





