








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 313 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1071 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2119 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1920 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1196 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 957 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $426,365 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I JUST GOT SCAM 1K $ SKIN | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | BuneDv2 | 49% | 63 |
| #3 | MileS | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | Pepitew | 48% | 58 |
| #5 | nko_ | 47% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BuneDv2 | 49% | 63 |
| #3 | MileS | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | Pepitew | 48% | 58 |
| #5 | nko_ | 47% | 73 |
| #6 | Menbalek | 45% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuneDv2 | 10 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | nko_ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Pepitew | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | MileS | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuneDv2 | 208 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | Menbalek | 119 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | nko_ | 100 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pepitew | 73 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | MileS | 44 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuneDv2 | +1.00 | 53 | 74 |
| #2 | Menbalek | +0.36 | 44 | 56 |
| #3 | E30peek | +0.31 | 56 | 64 |
| #4 | MileS | +0.00 | 75 | 55 |
| #5 | I JUST GOT SCAM 1K $ SKIN | -0.73 | 37 | 50 |





