








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 560 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,771 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2762 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3976 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3474 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2559 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $861,515 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Menbalek | 50% | 256 |
| #2 | BuneDv2 | 50% | 125 |
| #3 | MileS | 48% | 79 |
| #4 | E30peek | 47% | 73 |
| #5 | Pepitew | 45% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuneDv2 | 14 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Menbalek | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Pepitew | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | MileS | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | I JUST GOT SCAM 1K $ SKIN | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuneDv2 | 423 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Menbalek | 289 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #3 | E30peek | 202 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Pepitew | 118 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | MileS | 75 | 0.04 | 2 min |





