








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 800 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Esplay | 32 matches | 1,744 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4094 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,997 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6615 | 41% |
| Smokes | 3220 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4119 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2043 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $972,814 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 702 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dirt | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | David W | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | ma0 | 60% | 42 |
| #4 | Arctos | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | MillMill | 53% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SyotoS | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | TicKz #Silverspray | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Nandinioz™ #counter-strafing-gud | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | MillMill | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | ma0 | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SyotoS | 548 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #2 | TicKz #Silverspray | 353 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Nandinioz™ #counter-strafing-gud | 294 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | MillMill | 79 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | ma0 | 70 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZODi™ | +2.08 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | MillMill | +2.06 | 66 | 62 |
| #3 | ma0 | +1.70 | 70 | 56 |
| #4 | David W | +1.05 | 73 | 65 |
| #5 | TicKz #Silverspray | +0.74 | 65 | 62 |





