








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
384 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 89 | 18% |
| Smokes | 158 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 158 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 79 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $90,355 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sixes :3 | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | star wars metallica | 100% | 4 |
| #3 | nyxiadash | 83% | 6 |
| #4 | lafaa | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | shittinbullets89 | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wonk | 4 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | lafaa | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | shittinbullets89 | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Ryan | 1 | 0.0116 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wonk | +2.87 | 85 | 62 |
| #2 | Rebel | +2.36 | 82 | 64 |
| #3 | nyxiadash | +2.25 | 44 | 50 |
| #4 | Sixes :3 | +1.57 | 7 | 42 |
| #5 | lafaa | +1.39 | 85 | 38 |





