








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 952 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 355 matches | ||
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6061 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3005 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4315 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3044 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3274 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,900,715 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abNul | 53% | 293 |
| #2 | ☯ Zoid` Woop Woop | 52% | 119 |
| #3 | Phoxor | 52% | 96 |
| #4 | *Razor-Ramon * | 51% | 252 |
| #5 | cathkar | 51% | 376 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abNul | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | monky ♿ | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | cathkar | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | *Razor-Ramon * | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Harry Potier | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abNul | 1547 | 0.25 | 45 min |
| #2 | cathkar | 1352 | 0.17 | 38 min |
| #3 | monky ♿ | 892 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #4 | *Razor-Ramon * | 752 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #5 | Edwearth | 291 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cathkar | +3.10 | 86 | 70 |
| #2 | RosesAreRed | +0.58 | 78 | 49 |
| #3 | ☯ Zoid` Woop Woop | +0.43 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | abNul | +0.25 | 74 | 75 |
| #5 | Phoxor | -0.07 | 78 | 40 |





