








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 309 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 640 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




93 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9516 | 29% |
| Smokes | 12958 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 4845 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 6035 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,640,963 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3999 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuna sub | 50% | 198 |
| #2 | Egroski | 49% | 209 |
| #3 | Camel Crusher | 48% | 458 |
| #4 | Ooley18ttv | 48% | 147 |
| #5 | N8 | 37% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Camel Crusher | 41 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | tuna sub | 38 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Egroski | 26 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Ooley18ttv | 13 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | N8 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Camel Crusher | 954 | 0.10 | 23 min |
| #2 | Egroski | 621 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #3 | N8 | 424 | 0.33 | 11 min |
| #4 | Ooley18ttv | 146 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | tuna sub | 130 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Camel Crusher | +2.07 | 71 | 45 |
| #2 | Egroski | +1.45 | 80 | 57 |
| #3 | N8 | +0.98 | 72 | 70 |
| #4 | TheEdgeLord | -0.07 | 46 | 65 |
| #5 | tuna sub | -0.33 | 46 | 44 |





