








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 454 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3244 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,413 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1992 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1474 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1541 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2406 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $635,817 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 324 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MoonDeity | 58% | 109 |
| #2 | Excessive | 54% | 317 |
| #3 | ✘Bullock✘ | 54% | 267 |
| #4 | benji | 52% | 343 |
| #5 | ✘Dash Granny✘ | 52% | 401 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✘Bullock✘ | 21 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | benji | 14 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | ✘Dash Granny✘ | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Excessive | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | mediocrates | 5 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✘Bullock✘ | 1341 | 0.25 | 32 min |
| #2 | benji | 1328 | 0.19 | 40 min |
| #3 | Excessive | 953 | 0.14 | 26 min |
| #4 | ✘Dash Granny✘ | 864 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #5 | mediocrates | 504 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excessive | +4.53 | 87 | 68 |
| #2 | ✘Bullock✘ | +2.25 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | benji | +1.91 | 76 | 73 |
| #4 | MoonDeity | +1.88 | 76 | 54 |
| #5 | ✘AZelbmerT✘ | +1.42 | 50 | 58 |





