








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1550 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1306 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 102 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




139 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9086 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,144 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2490 | 16% |
| Smokes | 5068 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3808 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3778 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,042,969 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Stinky Goy | 47% | 649 |
| #6 | Bobby Moynihan | 47% | 354 |
| #7 | REDRaven | 45% | 199 |
| #8 | [NIGGA] Ismail Guleed | 43% | 114 |
| #9 | ToastedMello0224 | 43% | 290 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stinky Goy | 42 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | [NIGGA] Ismail Guleed | 32 | 0.0141 |
| #3 | Bobby Moynihan | 25 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | REDRaven | 22 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | ToastedMello0224 | 20 | 0.0033 |





