








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 307 matches | ||
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4190 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,039 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4870 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3959 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3810 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3400 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,275,883 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paB pihC | 69% | 32 |
| #2 | Century | 68% | 57 |
| #3 | kam | 67% | 30 |
| #4 | Glimpus | 62% | 65 |
| #5 | jpanッ | 59% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | aam | 49% | 39 |
| #10 | bango | 47% | 75 |
| #11 | savra | 44% | 32 |
| #12 | owen | 42% | 31 |
| #13 | Curv | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jet | 12 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Curv | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | bango | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Glimpus | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | aam | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bango | 281 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | Glimpus | 266 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | paB pihC | 209 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #4 | Jet | 206 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | aam | 201 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Century | +2.37 | 83 | 51 |
| #2 | chill | +2.00 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | minecraftmarco2008 | +1.84 | 86 | 64 |
| #4 | Jet | +1.39 | 86 | 58 |
| #5 | Curv | +1.39 | 79 | 69 |





