








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 272 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1515 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1529 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1542 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1676 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1684 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $541,904 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | oskvr | 49% | 39 |
| #11 | ^0^ | 48% | 42 |
| #12 | mV | 45% | 22 |
| #13 | brother meff | 43% | 46 |
| #14 | Chazz | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fett1s | 18 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | ^0^ | 11 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | crit | 10 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | Skilly2k | 9 | 0.0242 |
| #5 | sarim | 6 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fett1s | 555 | 0.25 | 16 min |
| #2 | sarim | 245 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | Harper | 214 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | brother meff | 204 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | ^0^ | 122 | 0.14 | 4 min |





