








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1166 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,545 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 582 | 23% |
| Smokes | 713 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 573 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 677 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $451,499 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UmLungu | 100% | 8 |
| #2 | hunter | 100% | 24 |
| #3 | Violla Pacifae | 90% | 10 |
| #4 | nashc | 88% | 8 |
| #5 | DarkLegacy | 87% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | SlimShady097 | 64% | 11 |
| #14 | sdw | 62% | 13 |
| #15 | RicheLieu | 61% | 18 |
| #16 | Kuragari | 60% | 10 |
| #17 | Cloud$ | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D3ATHKeeper | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Schalkie | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | s1lver | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Cloud$ | 2 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | hunter | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D3ATHKeeper | 236 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | Chappy | 176 | 0.37 | 6 min |
| #3 | Schalkie | 152 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | 𝙋 𝙧 1 𝙘 𝙠 𝙇 𝙮 𝙮 𝙮 ™ | 130 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | s1lver | 86 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙋 𝙧 1 𝙘 𝙠 𝙇 𝙮 𝙮 𝙮 ™ | +4.71 | 91 | 69 |
| #2 | D3ATHKeeper | +3.92 | 82 | 79 |
| #3 | hunter | +3.20 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | Chappy | +2.88 | 77 | 84 |
| #5 | DarkLegacy | +2.19 | 76 | 56 |





