








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
62 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 170 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 39 | 23% |
| Smokes | 60 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 16 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 55 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $35,727 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ionsto | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | alex | 22% | 9 |
| #3 | hussdog | 20% | 10 |
| #4 | i am usp | 20% | 10 |
| #5 | Benji | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ionsto | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | alex | 22% | 9 |
| #3 | hussdog | 20% | 10 |
| #4 | i am usp | 20% | 10 |
| #5 | Benji | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benji | 4 | 0.0290 |
| #2 | hussdog | 2 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | i am usp | 2 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | ionsto | 1 | 0.0233 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alex | 79 | 0.44 | 2 min |
| #2 | Benji | 51 | 0.37 | 1 min |
| #3 | hussdog | 36 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | i am usp | 26 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | ionsto | 5 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ionsto | +4.69 | 83 | 86 |
| #2 | Benji | +1.25 | 44 | 62 |
| #3 | alex | -0.96 | 53 | 62 |
| #4 | hussdog | -1.72 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | i am usp | -1.79 | 70 | 52 |





