








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 609 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4032 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,352 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2992 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2021 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1411 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1928 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,154,829 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 850 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giciu | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | [Miku] Gabbah | 62% | 45 |
| #3 | LOBYA | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | .eiffaNN-- | 58% | 134 |
| #5 | kiobu | 54% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | [Miku] Gabbah | 62% | 45 |
| #3 | LOBYA | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | .eiffaNN-- | 58% | 134 |
| #5 | kiobu | 54% | 89 |
| #6 | FaLX | 54% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FaLX | 24 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | kiobu | 11 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | .eiffaNN-- | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | LOBYA | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Giciu | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FaLX | 487 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | .eiffaNN-- | 362 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | kiobu | 246 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | [Miku] Gabbah | 135 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Giciu | 46 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -taco- | +3.53 | 87 | 60 |
| #2 | LOBYA | +3.05 | 92 | 45 |
| #3 | .eiffaNN-- | +2.69 | 94 | 67 |
| #4 | Giciu | +1.40 | 80 | 60 |
| #5 | kiobu | -1.03 | 74 | 53 |





