








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 647 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3003 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4338 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3474 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3796 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1828 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,913,067 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yi Lon Ma | 73% | 33 |
| #2 | king | 63% | 52 |
| #3 | -taco- | 62% | 45 |
| #4 | kiobu | 58% | 79 |
| #5 | marc7708 | 56% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Umtriebiger Unhold Ulf | 51% | 37 |
| #13 | (he/they) femmy kittyboy :3 | 51% | 81 |
| #14 | Lozu #Road2DMG | 45% | 105 |
| #15 | MisterMortz | 43% | 60 |
| #16 | BOT Monkey | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lozu #Road2DMG | 11 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | kiobu | 11 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | king | 11 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | FaLX | 7 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | NaVi | Akram | 6 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kiobu | 233 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Lozu #Road2DMG | 212 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | MisterMortz | 197 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | isgoat | 164 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | (he/they) femmy kittyboy :3 | 160 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MisterMortz | +3.44 | 76 | 72 |
| #2 | -taco- | +3.30 | 85 | 61 |
| #3 | .eiffaNN-- | +3.29 | 95 | 65 |
| #4 | Yi Lon Ma | +3.26 | 79 | 53 |
| #5 | king | +2.77 | 84 | 34 |





