








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Basalt | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1286 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 156 | 12% |
| Smokes | 424 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 427 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 287 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $561,782 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uncutbud | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | Petachu | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | Jeizy | 70% | 74 |
| #4 | Scooby Jew | 69% | 29 |
| #5 | Raasclaat | 68% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (tim) tim | 15 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Jeizy | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | ⸸ pR | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Scooby Jew | 5 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | GRiP | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (tim) tim | 203 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jeizy | 151 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Raasclaat | 89 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | GRiP | 59 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | uncutbud | 24 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uncutbud | +6.77 | 71 | 72 |
| #2 | Jeizy | +3.81 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | Scooby Jew | +2.74 | 67 | 58 |
| #4 | Studiespesialiserende Christian | +2.32 | 85 | 21 |
| #5 | Raasclaat | +2.05 | 68 | 52 |





