








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1004 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,792 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5108 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6108 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5400 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4176 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,259,337 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 422 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayko | 76% | 34 |
| #2 | Scooby Jew | 74% | 47 |
| #3 | ⸸ pR | 72% | 182 |
| #4 | Raasclaat | 72% | 229 |
| #5 | Petachu | 72% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | X4ND | 477 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | Broke | 434 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | faint | 378 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | (tim) tim | 325 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Raasclaat | 217 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeizy | +4.52 | 73 | 67 |
| #2 | Petachu | +2.79 | 56 | 66 |
| #3 | Raasclaat | +2.57 | 70 | 52 |
| #4 | Scooby Jew | +2.36 | 65 | 56 |
| #5 | Studiespesialiserende Christian | +1.33 | 80 | 24 |





